SWITZERLAND: Three merry ladies of the lake

“Living like in Switzerland” was a popular saying that I – and the majority of my generation across all the Balkan countries – grew up with. It epitomised well-being and abundance and a lifestyle of plenty and contentment. Switzerland was perceived as the El Dorado for scores of “gastarbeiters” from all the countries of former Yugoslavia, who would regularly return to their villages displaying their financial achievements with oversized vehicles.
So, when my dearest and closest friends B and D elected Lausanne – B’s current address – to host our 2015 Reunion, I felt a mixture of excitement and curiosity.
Whenever you ask someone – myself no exception – about their knowledge of Switzerland, the answer comes along the boring, repetitive lines of “one of the richest countries in the world, famous for watches, cheeses and chocolates”. Of course – all of those are indeed of top quality and sell at top prices. According to surveys both by respectable publications and trashy magazines, Switzerland is also home to the happiest people on the planet. Not only they are the richest, but they also appear to be satisfied with their jobs, families, sex life and just about everything. Both Zurich and Geneva also score high on the ranking of the top 10 most expensive cities in the world – but that doesn’t seem to bother anyone.
Of course I can list the towns, the cheeses and the chocolates of Switzerland… But what about writers, painters, artists, other famous people…? To my great disappointment the only two famous Swiss who instantly jumped into my mind were: Roger Federer and Johanna Spyri (and her Heidi)… In a second or two, the internet produced a largish list of familiar names – Max Frisch, Le Corbusier, Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Alberto Giacometti among others. I was associating these icons of European and world cultural heritage with the culture implied by the language of their names, not the country to which they belonged – not a difficult mistake to make as there are four official languages in Switzerland: French, German, Italian and Romansh
Linguistic confusions aside, Switzerland was a convenient location for our annual conference on personal and professional issues and an exciting place to add to the map of our travelling history.
My Wednesday’s evening flight to Zurich is annoyingly and inconveniently delayed and I reach my destination shortly before midnight. Our descent is greeted with a dramatic skyline interlaced with recurrent flashes of lightning. The young Austrian woman and myself are fascinated with the sharpness of the bolts of lightning, the embellished silhouettes of the hills and the multi-coloured clouds that light up like giant fireballs. The English grandmother travelling to visit her Swiss grandchildren is less enthusiastic. “I'd rather watch it from the ground…” she comments. The smile returns to her face once the plane touched down. By now deserted Zurich Kloten Airport welcomes us with large and loud posters of luxury watch brands, and a shiny Duty Free Shop, still open, overflowing with cigarettes and chocolates. With the traditionally ecstatic screams of reunion out of the way, the three of us are sitting comfortably in B.’s flash automatic BMW and driving towards Lausanne, filling the two hour drive (approx. 210 kilometres) with snippets of news from our past year.


THE LIFE AT THE RIVIERA


After a slow morning of basking in summerlike temperatures on B’s balcony overlooking the Lake Geneva – locally known as Lac Léman – and taking turns to get ready, we head for a day at the Lake. Port d’Ouchy gives us our first taste of the life on the Swiss Riviera. The air is cooled by a pleasant breeze coming from the greenish-greyish lake, and if it wasn’t for the sharp hills in the background, you could even imagine yourself at the seaside.
A religious holiday – I believe Ascension – brings out scores of strollers, ramblers, young families with ecstatic children, sweaty runners and other sports enthusiasts, as well as day-trippers and tourists turning the promenade into an eventful and upbeat place. Surrounded by well-off, sophisticated local folk exhibiting trendy and expensive brands, we drink our first Swiss coffee on the terrace of the flash 4-star hotel and restaurant Chateau d’Ouchy. Although fitting in style-wise, our uncontrollable bursts of laughter and enthusiastic chat are most probably too loud for this quiet nation. The three coffees (and a small bottle of Henniez Bleue 50 mineral water) add up to 22 francs (equivalent to 15 pounds). Yes – pretty expensive even by my London standards! Then again, with its prime location at the Place du Port, the terrace facing the lake and the promenade, the complimentary chocolate (which melted, caught between the sun's rays and the coffee cup), faultless service and clean and marbled toilets – it was certainly good value for the money…
Our plan for the rest of the day is a mini-cruise aboard the old-fashioned waterwheel boat; one of those two-storey jazzy vessels you can imagine going up and down the Mississippi river. As the tour from Port d’Ouchy departs while we were enjoying our coffees, we drive along the shore to Vevey where we can catch another boat towards Chateau de Chillon. The road takes us through a wine producing region, with stunning scenery of vertical hills covered with vineyards and farmsteads to one side and the captivatingly powerful and large lake to the other.



Once aboard we are ready for a snack and glass of wine! Without any explanation, we get re-directed from the restaurant in second class to the one in first class upstairs. We enjoy a selection of local cheeses (Gruyère, Emmental and a soft smelly one which I don't recognise) and wash it down with a flavoursome Pinot Gris. Our bubbly luncheon gets interrupted by the sudden appearance of the ticket inspector. With our second class tickets we should not be in the first class restaurant and the strict woman in the uniform insists on us paying the difference. We refuse; as a matter of principle. We were sent to this restaurant from the restaurant downstairs (and we assumed it was closed)!? We laugh off the lady-inspector’s viciousness, feeling like naughty teenagers when she confiscates our tickets…

The mesmerising, fairy-tale looking Chateau de Chillon is one of the most visited castles in the whole of Europe. Not difficult to see the reasons for that: from its location on an island on the eastern side of the lake, to the dark scary walls and the remarkable past. It was mentioned for the first time as early as 1005 when it was guarding the strategic routes through the Alpine pass. In the 16th century, during the Wars of Religion, it became a prison. This fascinating castle also found its way into literature with Lord Byron writing the poem “The Prisoner of Chillon” and Henry James using it as a setting for the novella “Daisy Miller”.
As we stroll down the lake promenade we are surrounded by walkers, rollerbladers, cyclists, people BBQ-ing at the beach… There are photo opportunities galore by Lac Léman. The numerous colourful flower beds, landscaped trees and bushes, jetties enhancing the view of the castle and sharp mountain peaks in the background seem perfect motifs for the cover of a box of chocolates…



In no time we are in Montreux, the home to one of the most famous Jazz festivals in the world. Every July this place breathes music and over the last half a century has hosted just about everyone important in the world of Jazz (and other musical genres). From strictly jazz with Miles Davis, Nina Simone and Ella Fitzgerald to rock/blues and others like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Van Morrison and others... Unfortunately, we are two months too early to enjoy the music and instead we happily sip beers and coffees while watching excellent tennis on clay at the Montreux Tennis Club.
Needless to say – we do not attempt to return by boat…



FONDUE ON A RAINY DAY

The rhythmic raindrops sliding down the balcony doors shake us out of a deep (and late) sleep. The two of us, unfamiliar to the climate of Lac Léman, cannot believe such a sudden and extreme change in the weather and the sharp drop in the temperature. From yesterday’s bright and warm spring we have stepped into grey and chilly autumn. The sun has taken a day off. It’s even shocking for me, accustomed as I am to the fickle British weather.
Under the unpleasant and unbelievably cold rain, the centre of Lausanne is predictably deserted. Only the funny and colourful rubbish bins give some colour to the grey and gloomy streets. On the hill leading to the Cathedral of Lausanne we stop at the Café de l’Évêché (http://www.leveche.ch), a simple but charming eatery with an overpowering smell of cheese. It’s a perfect day for a fondue. As our host opts for a lighter lunch of fish, D and I, novices to this country’s culinary specialities, order a Fondue moitié, a mixture of Gruyére and Vacherin cheese. Fondue is basically a dish of melting cheese (and some wine and seasonings) served in a pot to share over a miniature stove and then eaten by dipping bread, potatoes or gherkins (the last option did not work for me). It’s hot, thick and it warms you up inside out. And with a glass of Pinot Gris, it's perfect comfort food for cold weather.

The large Cathedral of Notre Dame of Lausanne has undergone various architectural and religious changes. Compared to some other religious buildings I’ve visited, its interior is quite plain and the only thing that grabs attention is the impressive pipe organ. Later on, curious by its look, I find out that this unique instrument is composed of seven thousand pipes, two consoles, five manuals and one pedalboard. It was produced by the American company Fisk at the cost of 6 million Swiss francs, weighs 40 tons and took 150,000 man-hours to build. It must produce an amazing sound…but that will have to wait for another trip to this country.
The rest of our afternoon is spent browsing around two department stores – Manor & Globus, comparing prices (yep, more expensive than in London), check on potential souvenirs (cow magnets, mugs and T-shirts with the Swiss cross, and Swiss penknives) and not buying anything… And a coffee in “Nespresso”, the café dedicated to the brand famously advertised by George Clooney serving poorly tasting coffee…


Lausanne is also home to the International Olympic Committee and the Olympic Museum. By the time we finally reach the Quai d’Ouchy, the museum is already closed and we can only stroll around the impressive grounds with sculptures dedicated to various sports, pillars and stairs with engraved names of the Cities that hosted the Olympic Games. And check on the eternal Olympic fire…


UNITED IN GENEVA

On the way to Geneva the following morning we drive through Morges and the immaculately kept vineyards, charming hamlets and pristine farmsteads. Our conversations suddenly digress from the clichéd “Sex & The City” topics into more meaningful observations on the differences between the Swiss and us, born and bred across the Balkans. This country appears to be exclusively populated with contented people who do not carry the for us all-too-familiar gene of frustration and unhappiness alongside the scars of instabilities, political unrest, endless financial crises and other traumas through many generations. It’s easier to be both happy and modest when you have never encountered difficulties on the level we did – wars, displacements, poverty – and all of those continuously for centuries. That would maybe explain why we appear edgy and impatient while they remain calm and composed.
Geneva is known as the world’s capital of headquarters. The United Nations Office, the International Labour Organization, the EU High Commissioners for Human Rights and Refugees, the World Health Organisation, the Red Cross/ Red Crescent and the World Intellectual Property Organisation are just some names on the endless lists of organisations who have established themselves in this city, which proudly calls itself “the city of peace”.

Under the giant 3-leg chair – a symbolic piece of art that represents the campaign against landmines – at Place de Nations, we meet my friend from my Croatian baccalaureate school. She works for the UN and is in the swing of organising 150th Anniversary of the International Telecommunication Union; but still finds time to meet us and take us to a nearby Ethiopian restaurant, AWASH. A mixture of vegetarian and meat stews is served on a sourdough flatbread/pancake base and the beer comes in extremely small glasses (luckily I’m a wine drinker). There is still enough time for a tour of the Communication department of the UN, with its shiny and airy offices and the impressive meeting rooms displaying names of member countries. But nothing compares to the amazing view of the lake from the top floor of the building.
Once we depart the UN offices I take a detailed look at the WIPO building, a very important place for my professional alter-ego…

The warm, sunny but slightly humid Saturday afternoon entices scores of visitors to the lake and the centre of Geneva. Jet d’eau is the highest and the fastest water fountain in Europe and a pretty impressive sight in the middle of the lake. It basically looks as if a water pipe has broken and the water shoots high in the air; up to 140 metres at a speed of 200 km per hour! In a side street we grab a few scoops of delicious Italian gelato and head up steep streets to the Cathedral of Geneva. In this Romanesque-turned-Gothic church with a neoclassical façade dedicated to St. Peter, John Calvin delivered his sermons and influenced the Protestant Reformation. We do not enter; instead we sip coffees and write postcards in the cafeteria opposite. The afternoon is turning into a chilly evening and the city is getting ready for the Night at the Museum.
Back in Lausanne we are ready for a night out and head to “The Great Escape”, a bar offering great atmosphere, good music and cheapish drinks. Although the temperature is quite low and the breeze is stronger, the terrace outside is just as cramped as the bar itself. It’s an interesting drinking establishment along the lines of: student union meets bohemian folk. We chat with a couple of ex-pats; a Croatian children’s doctor and an American finance director; both perfectly happy with their lives in Switzerland. According to them, this country seems to have everything: standard of living, opportunities, progress…

A GLIMPSE OF ZURICH

The weather of our last morning in Suisse is indecisive; not too warm or dry but not chucking it down either. It’s time to pack our things, close our private annual conference and head back to Zurich and our final destinations.
We reach the city known for the Dignitas centre and the FIFA headquarters sometime around the line that turns mid into late afternoon. As we leave the car at the Zurich International bus station, we glance at numerous coaches arriving from or leaving for various Balkan cities. The only languages we hear in the Starbucks opposite – where we stop for a toilet break and to grab a coffee – are Croatian, Serbian and Bosnian…

Short on time, we take a quick stroll down the river Limmat and the town hall and stop for a late lunch in Papa Joe’s American diner and Caribbean bar. Apart from the obvious change in the language between Lausanne, Geneva and now Zurich the other difference that straight jumps in front of us is – the politeness or lack of it. The waiting staff in Papa Joe’s are nowhere so polite as the one we encountered in the cafes and restaurants of Geneva or Lausanne (if we forget the uncollaborative boat ticket inspector).
And it’s already time to hug, kiss and wave goodbye… A bientôt.
My flight to London delayed, I’m sitting in a bar at the airport, drinking Pinot Gris (and trying to make it last; as it’s not the cheapest…) and gathering my memories… Yes, indeed, there is something about life in Switzerland…
Apart from the scary ticket lady on the boat, Switzerland is a truly likeable place. The main descriptive adjective that pops in my mind is “balance”. Nature has been generous to this country; there are hills and there is water in close proximity, rural and urban lives coexist on a narrow stretch of the shore; hard work (they have to work hard to live so well, no?) is balanced out with outdoor opportunities at every step and for every season.
There doesn’t seem to be any poverty or deprivation or they are just well hidden. There doesn’t seem to be much crime either. I spotted a few graffiti that were like a painful eyesore on the immaculate façade of this country. There is no drama in Switzerland. There is just beauty, calmness and well-being.
And yes – it’s definitely time to shortlist locations for the Reunion of 2016…